A Day In The Life Of Castiel
by CastielandMe
Summary: Castiel's diary, telling of his young, gay love affair with one Samuel Winchester, including his thoughts. (Not just diary entries, a lot of real-time stuff too) Please read, PLEASE review :)
1. An Introduction To My Life

**A/N: HOLA MISHAMIGOS! It's that wonderful time of the year, the time that includes christmas, new year AND my birthday! ... Which means I'm bored. And therefore need a new fic.  
Italics are diary entries, normal is... normal.****  
Reviews are love, babies. Reviews mean updates, and updates mean happytime for my readers, and happywritingtime for moi. :)  
**

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**_January 19th,__ 2013_**

_I started my new school today._

I put down my pen and close my eyes, head whirling after my day. My plump, bitten, kiss-flushed lips were aching, but I didn't care. My forehead rested against my palm, commiting every fateful second of the day to memory as I wrote.  
_  
An all boy's school, where being gay is okay. I was told that I was the only gay in school, but nobody seemed to mind. Nobody stole my clothes during fitness or refused to let me into the toilets. Nobody minded that I'm a homosexual.  
_  
And what a relieving feeling it was, to be treated like an equal, like everyone else. I didn't even mind that I thought that I was the only one, because it didn't matter. I wasn't looking for a relationship - I was looking for friends, which was something I'd never really had before.

_I met him in Sociology. His gorgeous green eyes, watching me, so focused and so perfect... It was breathtaking._

So imagine my delight when I was seated next to the stunning young man, his gaze watching me as I squirmed in my seat, that stare doing rather untimely things to my anatomy.

He asked me for my mobile number by the end of the lesson. And he gave me his. All eleven digits. And told me to call him.. Me! Call him!

My heart - and cock - jumped at the memory, and I shuddered delightedly, running a hand through my hair, remembering those hands on me.

_We didn't talk much... But we got a few vital points across. Like the fact that he's gay. And a virgin, when it comes to men. But he doesn't wanna tell his Dad, because he thinks he'll disapprove._

I recalled the sad, uncertain look in his eyes when he spoke about his Dad - there was clear tension there, and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to make things so tense and uncomfortable between them; but I hadn't dared ask.__

At lunch... He asked me to go with him. To the bathroom. And he locked us in a cubicle, watching me, those eyes sending shivers down my spine.  
"I just want to get that first kiss over with sometimes..." He'd admitted. And damn, I knew how he felt. "You know, to stop worrying about it?" I nodded at that, then took the single scrap of guts that I had and reached out to cup his cheek, touching my lips gently against his.  
He liked it.  
He had me against the wall, kissing, biting, sucking, licking, with his hands touching me, mapping out my slender body with curious fingers...

I swallowed and closed the book, cock twitching again insistantly. That was enough for one night... My body had more urgent matters to attend to.


	2. My First Boyfriend

**A/N: I love you all for not giving up on me :) And the interest you've had in this fic... Reviews = love!**

**Next chapter will be longer.. I have a good idea, but I have to get there first. Thank you to my longest reviewer, TheNextOfKin, for providing me with some ideas for future use... :) **

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**_January 20th,__ 2013_**

Waking up that morning, it all felt so surreal. I'd made out with one of the hottest guys _ever_, and-  
And my phone was ringing.  
I dove for it, holding it to my face. "Mne?" I garbled, glancing at the clock - 6am. I heard a low, amused chuckle, and instantly realized who it was. "Sam?"  
"Good morning." He murmured, his voice soft as honey, warming me to the core."Did I wake you?"  
"No." I answered truthfully - _he_ hadn't. It was my stiff morning wood that had roused me from my dreams of his lips.  
"Good." He answered, sighing in what sounded like relief. "I wanted to hear your voice while..." I heard the sound of him shaking his head. "Nevermind."  
"Okay..." I answered, laying back in my bed. "Hi."  
"Hey." He replied, and I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "One sec." He mumbled, then I heard the distinct sound of a phone being stashed under a pillow. "Hey, De." Sam murmured in the distance, their voices muffled by the pillow. "You okay?"  
"Yeah, Sammy... You gonna get up for school? I'll drive us, Dad's home so we have the car." This 'De' had a soft, affectionate, clearly male voice - his brother?  
"He's home?"  
"Only until tonight, then he's going again."  
"Oh." The disappointment was clear in his voice. "Yeah, okay. I'll get dressed..."  
"Hurry up, Sammy."  
The phone was removed from the pillow, and Sam sighed. "Hi."  
"Hey, Sammy." I replied, smiling a little.  
"It's _Sam_." He hissed, irritated. I didn't bother hiding my hurt expression - he couldn't see me.  
"Sure. Sorry." I answered quietly. He sighed again.  
"I gotta go... Sorry. I'll see you later..." His voice was full of soft, affectionate promise. "Meet me in the lot at 8:15?"  
"Definately." I replied softly, eyes alight. "Bye, Sam..."

_He rang me. This morning, just as I woke... I think he has family troubles. Mental note: Ask him what's going on with the guy that came into the room._

I smiled to myself, hiding my diary under my mattress. Lucifer and Gabriel wouldn't find it there... In theory.

I ran a hand through my dishrevelled hair, while Gabriel crooned down the phone to his girlfriend, and Michael watched me curiously, and Lucifer stuffed his face with peanut butter and jelly toast.  
"So, Castiel... You're sixteen. When are you going to get a girlfriend too, huh?" Lucifer looked at me knowingly as Michael spoke, an unusually sympathetic grin gracing his peanut butter-ed lips. He and Gabriel knew I was gay, but Michael didn't. He was too... Traditional. Too steadfast to the old ways, like our parents had been, before they had been murdered. He would disapprove. He'd know eventually, when the time was right. But now wasn't it. So I merely shrugged, stole a piece of Lucifer's toast, and ducked the swipe he aimed at my head.  
"Gabriel, come on... You're driving today." I whined, taking his phone and closing it so the call cut out. He scowled and ruffled my hair, making me scowl back.

"Why're you so eager?" He asked, slipping into the driver's seat of his convertible, vibrantly pink mustang.  
"I'm meeting a guy." I murmured quietly, painfully aware of Lucifer's head in between the seats and Michael in the back. "Who I might have something with." He flashed me a grin, and turned up his Lady Gaga CD to full, dancing along as much as his seat allowed, whilst Michael, Lucifer and I cringed and tried to hide ourselves in our seats. We all hated riding with our bisexual brother - particularly Michael. He felt that even being associated with Gabriel lowered his masulinity and undermined his authority and tradition as the oldest.  
I scrambled out of the car, loitering over to the wall and leaning against it, watching my brothers trape off to different areas - Lucifer, to smoke, Gabriel, to make out with his girlfriend, and Michael, to study in the university campus next door, where he was taking a degree in Ethics. Big suprise...  
My eyes lit up, latching on to those heavenly green ones standing on the other side of the lot. Sam glanced away, watching Dean walk off, then wandered over. "Hey." He murmured, sounding slightly shy.  
"Hey..." I murmured, shoving off the wall, and he reached out to caress my cheek fleetingly, before realizing what he was doing and dropping his hand - but my skin tingled where he'd touched me.  
"..." He leaned forward and kissed my lips softly, in full view of passers-by. I swallowed nervously as he drew back, eyes on his. "Will you date me?" He asked softly, entwining his fingers with mine.  
My heart stopped, and he smiled shyly. "I-I... Yeah. Yeah I will."

We spent the whole day together, our fingers interlaced... And no-one bothered us. Some people smiled and congratulated us, but most just ignored us, like it was nothing. But to me it was everything. Those soft lips were all mine... Gabriel saw us at lunch, and shot me the thumbs up. Although it wasn't until I was lay in bed that night that he said anything.  
A knock sounded on my door, and he walked in, grinning broadly. "Winchester. You're dating a _Winchester_!" He clapped me on the back, smiling. "... You know he has the most homophobic brother ever, right?"  
"I know." I answered softly. Sam had told me all about his brother and father during the day - how they wouldn't accept him if they knew.  
"Does he know?"  
"No."  
"Is Sam gonna tell h-"  
"I don't know, Gabe!" I growled softly, irritated by his insistance. "I need to sleep... Please, just go away..."  
He scowled and stood, but nodded. "Sleep well, Cassie."

I pulled out my diary a few minutes later, sighing happily, and just wrote two words in thick black pen, grinning as I did.__

**We're dating.**


	3. Perfection's Over

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_**January 21st,**_** 2013**

I walked into school hand-in-hand with my lover, grinning broadly and with obvious pride. He kissed my cheek softly, pulling me closer.  
"So... When ar you gonna tell your family? About us?" I asked, smiling shyly. He grinned and kissed my nose, shrugging a little.  
"I don't know yet... I have the most... _Masculine_-based family ever. I'm not sure how they'll take it." He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I'll tell them soon. I promise." I grinned a little, turning his head to me to kiss him softly.  
"It's okay, honey." I breathed, smiling. "... You wanna meet mine soon?"  
His face lit up, and he kissed me again, a little deeper. "Mm... Yes. Yes please." I purred weakly, then kissed his nose.  
"You go on ahead, honey. I'll meet you inside; I need the bathroom."

I finished using the toilet and zipped up my fly, just as the bathroom door banged open. A quick peek over the door confirmed my suspicions - it was a couple making out, very passionately. The soft moans being omitted told me that leaving my cubicle wasn't an option unless I wanted a mouthful of abuse, so I rested my head against the cubicle wall, steeling myself to wait it out.  
"Dean..."  
My eyes widened a little as I realized just who was outside my door. Sam had told me about his ladies' man of a brother - but I had assumed that a guy's bathroom was too low even for him. Apparently, my assumptions were wrong.  
"Vanessa... Stop." The kissing sounds ceased, and there was a moment of tense, awkward silence before she chuckled.  
"Very funny, Dean."  
"I'm serious... I can't."  
She huffed in annoyance. "Why not? Are you gay like your brother, is that it?"  
Dean's reaction was instant and agressive. There was a loud crack, and then the soft, unmistakable sound of glass tinkling to the floor - a shard skidded over the floor, and came to rest next to my foot. I stooped and picked it up for no apparent reason, holding the thin slice tight in my hand. "My brother is not gay." He answered, his voice soft and menacing. "No Winchester is gay.  
"I _saw_ him." She insisted, giggling now. "I saw him this morning. Walking in with his boyfriend - a scraggly, scrawny thing, with messy dark hair."  
"You're _lying_!" He hissed, furious. "I told you- Winchesters _are not gay_. We're _real _men." His words struck a chord in my chest, and I growled quietly. "We're not like that, we don't drop to that level. If Sam knew what you thought-"  
"Sam does know." I snarled, stepping out of the door. He looked slightly startled to see me, but the girl beamed and pointed at me, giggling.  
"That's him! That's your brother's boy!" Being described as Sam's boy caused my stomach to tingle a little, but I brushed that aside for now - I suddenly had a face full of Dean, which was slightly distracting. He forced me to the wall, growling threatingly.  
"My brother is not gay... So stay away from him." He spat, eyes furious. "Or I'll tear your freakin' lungs out. Got that?"  
I suprised myself by shoving his hands away from me, and stepping closer. "I won't fight you. But I did nothing to your brother. He initiated it, and I make him happy. You should ask him what _he_ wants before you make decisions for him." I kept my eyes latched on his as I calmly stepped around him, my heart pounding beneath the thin weave of my shirt.

_Sam could tell something had happened when I got back._  
I wrote slowly, my heart still pounding as I realized how close I was to getting my face turned into a bloody pulp._  
He just looked at me - said I was pale. And when I told him, he looked like a ton of bricks had been dropped on him... Dean's so agressive... I wonder if he's ever hit Sam? ... No, I doubt it. He seems too protective. But Dean... I wonder what he'll say to Sam tonight?_


	4. Panic

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**... There aren't words. :'( My computer broke... I'll get you as many updates as I can as soon as possible! I still love you all! *muchlove*  
**

**~PeaceLoveandSerenity~**

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_**January 22nd,**_** 2013**

_I need to see Sam. I need to find out what Dean said. I need to see Sam. I need to find out what De-  
_I slammed my journal shut as Lucifer opened the door. "Come on, loverboy, it's time for school!" He grinned at me, running his fingers through his hair.

I couldn't see him. Where was Sam? Where was he?  
My heart pounded as the car pulled up, and Dean stepped out.  
But no Sam.  
Where was he?  
I bit my lip and pulled out my phone. One quick message -_ where r u? xx -_ that didn't go through, one attempt to call that went straight to voicemail, and I was worrying.  
I know that how I reacted was unintelligent. But honestly.. What would you do?

"It's none of your _goddamn _business where Sam is!" Dean growled when I caught his arm, snatching his jacket from my grip. "And don't you dare touch me, you little freak."  
Anger coursed through my veins, and I growled. I'm only 5"10, but I grabbed the front of his shirt and turned him around to face me properly. "Tell me where he is, or I swear to God, I'll set my brother's Mustang on your shiny Impala." His eyes went dark, then sad.  
"He's in the hospital." He said quietly, moving my hand from his shirt. "He's having an operation on his arm." I blinked at this information, standing stock still, and thinking slowly. There was nothing wrong with him when I saw him yesterday - he'd been fine. More than fine, apart from worrying about my run in with Dean.  
"What happened?" I asked eventually, looking up at my boyfriend's brother uneasily - if he'd hurt him, I'd kill him, right here, right now.  
"My Dad. Me and Sam were arguing... About you, actually... And my Dad came home. He heard me saying that Sam's... That he's... Gay. My Dad is... Kinda homophobic, see. He heard... He got to Sam before I could get in the middle. Broke his arm in three places, dislocated his shoulder, and cracked his collarbone." He muttered. I could see it in his eyes then - the love, the care he had for his baby brother. And the guilt that he couldn't intervene fast enough.  
"When are you going to see him?" I asked tentatively, my concern for Sam overriding my venomous hatred for his Dad.  
"At break, he'll be out of theatre by then."  
"...Why's he in theatre anyway?"  
"He needs a titanium plate in his arm." I swallowed, and nodded.  
"Can I come with you... When you go to see him?" He watched me for a moment, considering, torn between disliking the fact that I made his brother, and by association, his family, seem gay, and the fact that I made Sam smile.  
"... Fine." He said eventually. "I'll meet you by the car as soon as the bell goes." He hesitated for a moment, shot me an unreadable look, then turned and walked away from me without another word, leaving me to stand on my own.  
I leant my forehead against a wall, and started to cry.


	5. Safe And Sound

**See? Fast update! ;) My eternal apologies for my prolonged absence... I had lots of real-life shit to cope with.**

**~PeaceLoveandSerenity~**

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_**January 22nd, 2013**_

I spent the first two hours of my day worrying, and watching the clock. Did someone twist the laws of time while I was sleeping last night? Surely it had been more than five minutes... It felt like a week. But there was only five minutes left... Or a week, depending on how you looked at it.  
But eventually, eventually, the bell rang. I shot out to Dean's car, but he wasn't there. I stood, drumming my fingers on my leg, my very bones humming with impatience.  
"Cassie? You okay?" My head snapped up, and I met Lucifer's eyes. His face was full of uncharacteristic concern, and at that point, everything just hit me. I felt the wall of emotion break, and I leant against him, sobbing uncontrollably. He stood, stunned, for a moment, before slowly wrapping his arms around me and hugging me hard. "Hey... What's happened?"  
"Sam, it's S-Sam, he's... And I.. It's.. It's all my fault!" I cried, clenching my hands in his t-shirt.  
"It wasn't your fault." Dean's voice was soft and quiet behind me, and I raised my tear-stained face slowly. His eyes were raging with guilt, and I was instantly hit by how bad he felt.  
"It wasn't yours either." I whispered, then looked at Lucifer. "I... Gotta go."  
"I'll tell school I took you home." He answered evenly. I stared at him wordlessly for a moment, then hugged him.  
"Thanks, Lucifer." I mumbled, and squeezed him tight. He wasn't usually the one to perform random acts of kindness, but here he was... Allowing me to go off without asking questions. He petted my hair lightly, then pushed me away ever so slightly.  
"Go on now. Go do whatever it is that you need to do." He told me, and stepped back. Dean unlocked his car and gestured me forward.  
"Let's go."

The hospital scared me. I didn't like the big white corridors, the smell of disinfectant. I could feel my hands shaking and my heart pounding, and the sound of my feet on the floor, getting closer to my Sam, made my head spin. Dean pointed at a off-cream door, pausing. "He's.. In there." He murmured, swallowing. "... Yeah." He pushed on the door, moving into the room quietly.  
I stepped in behind him before the door could swing shut, my heart in my throat.  
Sam was one of two young men in the room. His skin was pale, almost as pale as the sheets he lay between. His arm was in a sling against his chest, heavily bandaged. I knew he'd have a cast fitted soon, when the wound had healed a little, to prevent infection.  
He was semi-concious, eyes rolling around as the anaestetic wore off. "Cassiel..." He mumbled, eyes rolling my direction. I moved closer, and squeezed his good hand gently.  
"Hey, Sam." I breathed.  
"Cas." He whispered, then pulled me closer and kissed me gently. I was intimately aware of Dean's eyes on us, but I just lost myself in Sam's lips, and climbed onto the bed with him to hold him closer.


	6. Time To Go Home

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**So... Yeah. I disappeared. :'( Sorry. I had loads of crap to deal with.**

~PeaceLoveandSerenity~

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_**January 22nd,**_** 2013**

I held Sam, my Sam, my gorgeous, green-eyed angel, tightly in my arms, never wanting to let him go. The anaesthetic wore off slowly - he didn't speak much, but I could tell by the way his fingers gripped my shirt tighter with his one good arm, the way his speech became clearer - and the way the fear and uncertainty became more and more evident in his eyes.  
We spoke of nothing important at first; my brothers, how my night had been, what he'd missed at school. But then he turned to Dean with an uncertain eyes, his voice soft. "Where's Dad?" I tensed then, my fingers tightening around him quietly, a low growl emanating from my throat, but he kissed my cheek gently to soothe me.  
"He's gone, Sam. He left last night. He was gone by the time I got back from bringing you in." Dean answered quietly. I snorted.  
"Coward couldn't face what he'd done, huh?" I scoffed angrily. Sam put his hand on my arm, and Dean gave me a hard look.  
"Stop it." Sam warned softly.  
"What? He's a fucking prick. He hurt you then runs off like a pussy? Great." I snarled threateningly, astounded by my own language but too aggravated to care.  
"Shut up!" Dean snapped, standing over me, his eyes dark and menacing. "You don't know _anything_. You're nothing but a kid. Don't you dare try and understand my family." He grabbed my shirt and pulled me away from Sam, sending me sprawling on the floor. I landed heavily, wincing, more at his words than the bruises I could feel forming on my back.  
"Dean." Sam's voice was quiet, but warning. "Don't touch Cas." He sat up a little, his eyes on mine. "I'd help you up, but..." He gestured down at himself, smiling weakly. I nodded, scrambling to my feet and dusting myself off, wincing again. Sam winced too, and shot Dean a cautionary look, before reaching for me and holding my hand tight.  
"Mr. Winchester?" A nurse appeared beside me, startling me a little, and it made me wonder how much she'd seen - and how much she'd heard. I doubted that the brothers would have told the hospital that it was Sam's dad that had done this. Stuck by a faint sense of guilt, I kept quiet instead of instantly asking all the questions that were itching to be answered. Sam and Dean nodded simultaneously.  
"Which one?" Sam asked then, smiling slightly.  
She smiled back, though not as authentically as Sam had. "You, Sam. Your surgery went well - your displaced fracture should heal fine. You also suffered a comminuted fracture to the shoulder - that is, the bone was crushed. We fixed a titanium plate to his shoulder blade too, so that should keep that together." She smiled for real then, a twisted, sarcastic smile. "You're gonna be setting off alarms a lot." I scowled at that, finding no humour in the situation, but Sam squeezed my hand lightly to keep me calm.  
"... So these things set off metal detectors?" Sam asked quietly, fiddling with my fingers uncertainly. She shrugged unhelpfully.  
"It depends on the detector. They _shouldn't_, but we're not allowed to say that they _won't_ anymore, because we were accused of lying when some patients came back and said they got stopped at airport security for setting off the detectors."  
"When can he go home?" Dean interrupted, seeming as agitated by this woman as I was. She gave him a long, hard look, which made me squirm but didn't seem to affect him, before replying.  
"By tonight." She answered in a cold, uncaring voice. "Assuming he has no negative reaction to the anaesthesia, and that he feels well enough to leave." Sam nodded instantly, resolutely, and sat up quickly, before swaying a little and slumping against my side.  
"I'm well enough." He insisted weakly, shaking a little. I wrapped my arms around him gently to support his drug-weakened body, and he smiled briefly up at me as the shaking subsided. "I'm well enough."

The day passed slowly. Neither Dean nor I left Sam's side for a moment, although we were both squirming in our seats, in dire need of the bathroom, and I could hear Dean's stomach digesting itself almost as well as I could my own. Sam sighed as I shifted again, and kissed my cheek. "Look, you two. I get to leave in an hour. Go get some food, and stop doing serious damage to your bladders. I'll be here when you get back."  
Dean didn't need telling twice - he shot to his feet and out of the room, yelling his gratitude back at his brother as he charged through the doors. I chuckled lightly, and kissed Sam's hair. "You had me worried, you know."  
Sam looked up at me quietly, then nodded. "I know. Sorry. I couldn't... I wanted to tell you what had happened to me myself. I couldn't just text you and tell you. Not that..." I kissed his hair again, shaking my head wordlessly. There was no need to apologise. I understood more than he'd ever know. He smiled weakly, and squeezed my hand. "Go on. Go. I need you to be fully functioning to look after me." He teased playfully, then swatted me away. I smiled and stood, leaving the room with considerably less enthusiasm than Dean - but just as much urgency.


	7. Home, Sweet Home

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**So... Yeah. I disappeared. :'( Sorry. I had loads of crap to deal with in my life. Lots of shit. :/**

~PeaceLoveandSerenity~

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Convincing me to go back to his house was a challenge. I didn't want to go anywhere near that place - particularly not if that bastard was going to be there. I don't know what I'd do if I saw him, I honestly don't. There'd be no containing myself.  
Their house was tiny, barely even a house at all. Dean unlocked the front door, looking positively humiliated that he was letting me in here; and I could understand why. There were beer cans littering the floor, pizza boxes stacked high, and I felt ill at the smell. Sam curled his lip, covering his nose with his free hand. "Dean..."  
He nodded silently in response, ushering us forward. "You get up to bed, Sammy. I'll clean up his mess."  
"I'll help." I offer, kissing Sam's lip tightly. He shook his head, wrapping his arm around me as best he could.  
"No." He insisted, nuzzling his face into my throat. "No. Stay with me." He breathed softly.  
"I-" I cut myself off with a nod. "Okay." I didn't dare voice my worries; that Lucifer would be worrying about me, that he'd have told Gabriel and that now _Gabe _would be worrying about me, and that Michael would just be his usual, I'm-the-guardian-what-I-say-goes self, and he'd be grilling Lucifer for information about where I am. And Lucifer would be winding him up ceaselessly. Sam's eyes met mine, and he nodded quietly.  
"... Would they let us sleep there? Me and Dean?" He asked slowly, timidly. I blinked in surprise, then smiled briefly and held his hand.  
"They will... When I tell them I'm gay." I chuckled. His eyes widened in surprise, and I grinned. "My oldest brother doesn't know. He's too... Traditional. And I've never had a reason to tell him." I wrapped my arms around him slowly, carefully. "But now I do. I have you." I whispered in his ear lightly. He beamed in response to that, turning his head to kiss me gently.  
"And I have you." He breathed in response.

My breath kept catching in my throat, nervous and uncertain and excited all at the same time. Lucifer opened the door, and, surprisingly, threw himself at me, his arms around my neck. A moment later, when he drew back, my eyes latched on to the redness around his eyes.  
I blinked in surprise, stunned into a momentary silence. "... Have you been crying?" I asked softly, eyes wide. He shrugged, wiping his eyes.  
"I was worried about you." He replied quietly, more serious than I'd ever seen him - before today, at least. "I had no idea where you were going, or when you'd be back. It's gone 11, Castiel." He breathed, then his eyes lighted on the two guys behind me, carrying holdalls, one of whom had their arm in a sling. "... Is this the guy that's been occupying my little brother?" He asked softly, his gaze resting lightly on Sam, his arm in particular.  
I nod in response, wrapping my arm around Sam's waist. "Yeah... This is Sam. And his brother, Dean. Luci... They need somewhere to stay." I looked up at him timidly, begging him silently. He nodded, not even needing to speak - he just stepped back, holding open the door.  
"I'll share a room with Gabe." He said, ruffling my hair as I passed.

I carried Sam's bag up the stairs, followed by Dean with his, and Sam bringing up the rear. Michael was waiting in the entrance to my door, his expression stormy. "You're a homosexual." He spat out the word, like the very mention of such a thing was dirty.  
I just nod proudly, and glance back at Sam. "So is my boyfriend." I growled softly, my eyes dark. "I'm not asking your permission. I'm just telling you something I should have told you a long time ago." My eyes slipped past him, into the comforting, reassuring darkness of my bedroom. My gaze landed on the bed - the bed that I would later be sharing with Sam. The nervous excitement rippled through my stomach again, so I swallowed, and glanced back up at Michael. "It's almost midnight. Please just move so I can go to bed. So _we _can go to bed." I correct myself, glancing back at my Sammy. He paused, looking annoyed and embarrassed for me, then slowly moved out of the way.  
"Get some sleep." He grumbled, a man of few words, as usual. "You look like you need it."  
Michael slowly slinked off down the landing, mumbling to himself. My head turned, and I grinned at my boyfriend and his brother. "Dean... You're next door." I pointed. He nodded, wandering off, seeming dazed and disorientated in his new surroundings. I pulled Sam close against my chest, being gentle with his arm.  
"You look nervous." He whispered, kissing my cheek gently. I smiled briefly and nodded, lacing my fingers with his.  
"I am." I admitted quietly, pulling him into the dark seclusion of the room and shutting the door behind us. I didn't have anything planned for us to do tonight, and the way I moved him closer seemed to make that clear. He kissed my lips gently, helping me out of my clothes in the darkness. I was glad for the security, the privacy, that the darkness allowed me, and he seemed to be too, as I helped him out of his jeans and parted the sheets. He climbed in first, cradling his arm against his chest gently, lying with his back to me. In the near pitch-black, I could see the pale skin of his back, inviting me to come closer, to cuddle him until he fell into an easy, _safe_ sleep.  
My arms snaked around his waist, and I curled into him. He felt just right in my arms - perfect for me.  
I rested my cheek against the back of his neck, feeling the way he moved in his sleep as he breathed, and drifted off into my own, dreamless sleep.


End file.
